Into a dream from which we'll never wake up
Undo the changes that left us jaded
Let's never open our eyes
But our eyes are closed no matter what you've created
I refuse control from a delusional sadist
Family
There is a group of people in your life that you are genetically predisposed to say yes to. A group of people that you are forced to love abs care about, despite your better judgment. Beings who are in your life from the moment you or they are born.
Who are these master manipulators you ask? Who can pluck and pull at your heartstrings with little to no effort?
FamilyPeople who share your DNA, your blood, and your life. As you open your eyes to the world and as you grow as a person they are there. You form bonds with them, care about them.
Love them. And they can get you to turn your back on your feelings and opinions with a simple word. They can pull you into their way if thinking and convince you to do things against what you want. Based on the guise of looking out for you. As a token of love.
Unconditional love.
What a lie. A complete and utter farce designed to make you adhere to social norms and a code of morality.
It’s a joke. One that I have fallen for so many times. And as I get older I question if those bonds are worth it anymore. Why should I look at my family as anything more than disposable people. To be discarded as I would anyone who had outlived thier use.
Especially now.
At a time when I have become something different. Someone different. Not just the proverbial “black sheep” of the family. But a different entity altogether.
Someone and something unrecognizable. .
But, they still look at me and see the same person. The girl they grew up with, ate with, slept with, went through hell with. But while My brother and sister separated and came back together stronger, and my younger sister didn’t even feel the sting of an undeserved punishment, I just stopped caring. I stopped wanting to believe there was good in this world and have embraced the fact nothing is fair. That life is a series of disappointments with moments of levity in between.
Just to fuck with you.
That is the difference between me and my family. I see the world for how it really is. I see the cracks and darkness behind the walls. They just see the fake, the fraudulent. They take things at face value and want to believe there is something more. A way to be happy and safe. How childish. Maybe one day they’ll see the world how I do. Maybe they’ll accept it all. And then, well, then I guess we can really be family..
Chapter 20: Part 2: Together I guess
She went to unlock the door, sliding the key into the lock and hearing the tumblers click as she did, a moment of ignorant bliss being shattered as she realized the door was unlocked and Billy was inside. Her head ached, her eyes instantly and uncontrollably rolled as she let out an exasperated huff of frustration. She didn’t want to have this conversation, today. Even after talking to her sisters, even after being ambushed and blindsided and browbeaten into giving Billy a chance, she still wasn’t ready and in reality was angry, frustrated, and wanted to punch the wall.
But, she turned the doorknob and went in. There was music playing, the apartment was clean, he cleaned. She was shocked, and then she smelt it, food, food actually being cooked in her kitchen.
She was shocked, she didn’t know her stove turned on, let alone worked so well. Kayla moved through the living room, through the archway, and into the kitchen, where Billy was standing. A hand towel over his shoulder, hand on the frying pan as he tossed some form of rice back and forth, he turned to see her with a smile. Kayla stuttered having no idea what to say to the scene in front of her. An over six foot tall, muscular jock, short dark hair slicked back, a goofy grin on his face. Before Kayla could say a word, Billy put his finger up, grabbing a spoon with a nod. “Taste this.”
“Billy I” He put a finger up again, he tutted and shook his head pushing the spoon toward her. Kayla rolled her eyes again and moved forward tasing it. It was amazing, her eyes widened, she put her hand to her mouth as she swallowed. “That’s fucking delicious.”
Billy smirked, an arrogant one as if to say he knew. “Garlic mushroom risotto. Family recipe.”
There was that word, Family. Kayla groaned and put her hands on her hips, the momentary happiness that came in through the food Billy took the food off the heat and opened a cupboard grabbing a few shallow bowls placing them on her bench. “Billy, we need to talk.” He gave her a nod, plating up the food, grabbing some fresh parmesan cheese grating it over the top as he kept humming the music.
He grabbed both bowls, motioning towards the table where forks, candles, and wine had already been set up, Kayla tilted her head as he moved over placing the tables down. “Come on, we can talk while we eat, I need my carbs.” She sighed and shrugged, why not right?
Kayla moved to the chair, sitting down as Billy poured her a glass of wine, and one for himself. He moved across from her and grabbed his fork with an awkward smile. “Billy, I”
“Try the wine first, I picked it out to go with the flavors.” He smiled, there was just enough boyish charm that Kayla obliged, she picked up the glass, taking a sip, after all a little alcohol might help with this. It was good and tasted as it should go with what Billy made. “Good right? Bet you didn’t know I could cook or I know wines.”
She gave a nod of appreciation, he was right, she didn’t know he could cook, or pair it with wine. She cleared her throat after finishing her glass, without a word Billy poured some more. “So, I….”
“We should eat before it gets cold.” He interrupted her and cleared his throat. Kayla groaned and put her glass down and her hands up.
“Stop...please just stop.” He swallowed hard and looked down. He knew she was getting frustrated. “Look, I’m impressed, ok I’ll admit it. But I have something to say and I need you to listen.” He paused, putting the fork. “I’m not good at this, I’m really not. The whole...relationship...thing” His fast changed, a smile forming as Kayla struggled through the words. “But….I’m willing to give it a shot…” Billy smiled even wider, he opened his mouth to say something but Kayla stopped him. “Can we just eat?...please?...” He laughed, he gave a nod. Kayla gripped the wine, taking another glass down.
Disappointment.
“I'm disappointed in you Betsy.” Kayla shook her head with a smirk. “Everything that I have done to you, everything that I have said to you. All of this should have lit a fire under you, it should have made you so angry and so ready to jump on me and destroy me that you should be frothing at the mouth and chomping at the bit to get in the ring with me and punish me.”
She lets out a deep breath, shrugging her shoulders and moving her hand to the side in a dismissive manner.
“I waited with baited breath, I wanted to hear everything that you had to say, I wanted to be able to sit back and see the anger in your eyes. But all I got from you was indifference. All I got from you is some bleeding heart story, questioning why I dislike you and why I hate you. Questioning why I did what I did despite the fact that I've explained it to you time and time again, every match that I've had, every single time I have been on a television screen at a pro wrestling excellence event I have told you exactly why I did what I did, and why I hate your guts.”
“You might want to turn around and say that it's jealousy. Jealousy instead of a wave of clear anger about the bias that is shown to you. From the moment that you stepped foot in this company, you have been the golden girl. The only reason that the main event is happening right now between Nathaniel and Damien is because of me. Because I made damn sure that you were not going to be the champion. That did not happen out of jealousy that happened out of necessity. That happened because I knew you didn't deserve it and I knew that you being the first champion of this company was going to lead it to ruin. Because every single person watching that company and waiting for us to screw up was going to see you as its first champion and realize the bias that management has towards you. So out of the goodness of my heart and the need to watch this company succeed I stopped you from ruining it.”
“End the reasons why I hate you stem directly from that.”
“Because everywhere we go, everywhere we have been at anytime you and I have been in the same company, I have had to watch you get handed everything on a silver platter. While I have had to fight for everything that I have ever earned. New generation wrestling did not want me as its world champion, it didn't want me to be at the top of that company but I made them look at me as the franchise. I fought for that position, I earned that position. I went to hybrid and the same thing happened, bias against me towards other members of that bullshit roster. But I still earned everything. I became the grand champion despite all of the bullshit being laid on top of me.”
She can't help it roll her eyes, her body language changing as her hands clasped into fists and dropped to her sides. Her emerald green eyes burn as she looks up straight ahead through a curtain of wavy black hair.
“Is that enough of a reason for you Betsy? Or would you like some more? Not that it is going to matter because I've already said all of this before it just seems that you weren't listening, or that you didn't care. Apparently my thoughts and feelings and reasons behind screwing you out of that championship are not worth listening to and responding to. The truth is Betsy that you and I would never be able to co-exist. While we are both in this company I'm going to be a thorn in your side and you are going to be a thorn in mind and people are just going to have to get used to you and I beating the living hell out of each other every chance we get.”
“Now, you might be able to move past that and you might be able to go on with your career and go for other championships and enter into issues with other people in this company but I will always come right back to you. I will always be on you and waiting for you to screw up or waiting for you to try and weasel your way into something that you have no right to be in. People like you and people like your friends are the kind of people that do not deserve to be in the same company as me. While I freely admit that I am a horrible human being who is only out for myself you try and hide it through veiled smiles and an ego that you say you keep in cheque and you talk about honor and friendship.”
“I see your bestest buddy Adrien has joined in the fun, and if Cochrane comes near me, the fucking cat will be the least of his worries.:”
“And what amuses me to no end is that people buy into this shit from you. All they have to do is look at your actions in other places. You have surrounded yourself with an army in another company as you and your friends try and take over. That idiot Australian, Finn’s stupid younger brother. that silly little winterbourne bitch and her overrated boyfriend, as well as YOUR overrated boyfriend. What a lovely little circle jerk.”
Kayla rolls her eyes again, folding her heavily tattooed arms over her chest.
“Granger, This match he's going to be a fight. It's not going to be a respectful competition between two of the best in this company with hopes of climbing the ladder and getting a high enough ranking to maybe go after the world champion or the impulse champion. This is an issue between two bitches who want to tear each other apart, I'm just honest enough to admit it. While you want to hide behind vague bullshit arguments. You want to ask stupid questions and wonder why I hate you. I've answered that question, you now know why I hate you, why I dislike you and why I cost you that championship .But what you have failed to realize Betsy, is that I didn't need a reason.”
“I could have just picked your name out of a hat and decided that you were the person I was going to attack. I could have just looked at the roster and thought to myself that you were the biggest name that I could go after that would send the biggest message and get across what I want to do in this company. All of the personal issues that I have with you and all of the anger that I have directed towards you is just a bonus. When it comes down to it beating you, by any means necessary, will make people realize that I am not to be taken lightly. Everyone else in this company knows that deep down but so many of them are just simply ignoring it. So many of them are simply sitting back and hoping to God that I don't cast my gaze on them and get ready to destroy their careers like I'm preparing to do to you. But in ignoring me, and ignoring what I'm capable of all it is doing is feeding my anger.”
“Anger that I am going to take out on you at Annihilation. I will do whatever is necessary to win this match. And I'm being a damn good human being and telling you ahead of time that I will look for any shortcut, I will kick open any door, break any rule. I don't care. Do whatever it takes to beat you Betsy and it is your job to stop me. Because if you don't? Then everyone is going to know that everything I have said about you is true. You are a fraud, you are a fake, you are a phoney, and you are overrated. And then you will have to let that sink in on your conscience and your ego. And personally? I doubt you can handle it.”
